blog 06-28-2010

Blog 06-28-2010

I woke up very early today, 4:30 am, I did not get enough sleep last night even though I was very tired yesterday. But of course I did not say anything to Rachael, I just feel like I am not a good father showing weakness and not able to do my part of parenting. She had to take the kids with her to work which is okay but not a right thing to do. I have such a hard time talking to her about my failings, It is my macho up bringing. No matter what, the Father should be the stoic and always there. The problem is at times I am not even able to get out of bed. Not looking forward to clinical dialysis, it takes so much out of me. The first six years of dialysis before the Kidney transplant was not as bad as it has been this time around. I lost the transplant after five years, the usual time for a cadaver kidney. I will go into much more info about transplants another time. I just want to let everyone who reads this blog what I am feeling and going through. I ask for prayer so the Lord can intervene quickly in my behalf.

Godbless

Bear